apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
