My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
