Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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