haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
MIDGETS
????
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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