Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
