She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
