this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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