For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
