She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I have already put on my inside pants.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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