I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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