Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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