I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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