So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
