let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
