Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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