Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
