I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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