ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
