Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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