Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
