Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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