let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
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