Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
