So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Hippo gnu deer
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
