Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Randomize
