overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
