I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
