his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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