the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Randomize
