There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
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