Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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