Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
