batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize