It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
