Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
