Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
