i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Just pee around me
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
