Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
