well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
