I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize