i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
