the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
