ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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