there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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