Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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