I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize