i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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