remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
