god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
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