I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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