Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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