I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
