just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
