I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
