he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
