my sisters under your porch take her home
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize