I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
