1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
