So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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