I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
