do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
