I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
You pole danced in your parka.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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