I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
